sexiest woman maxim

Wednesday morning doctors diagnosed Bobby Brown with having had a mild heart attack."Jigga WHAT?!" you say. That's right y'all, the King of R&B himself was laid up in the hospital Tuesday night after complaints of severe chest pains.Doctors attribute the heart attack to "stress" --and we all know what the fuck that means, although in Bobby Brown's case I think it may be valid. He ain't had a hit,...

For those of you with a soul, reading this blog must be tough sometimes as we are quite relentless in our hassling of celebrities. I often find myself wondering how feeling bad for them must feel. But even those of you with the kindest of hearts have to admit that there are some celebrities out there who clearly are gluttons for punishment and ridicule. Britney Spears obviously comes to mind. Let's...

Normally I hate when blogs post pictures of their favorite 80s/90s stars and are all "OMG what HAPPENED??!!! He was totally my fav! Omigosh u guys! Remember that episode where Jessie was on SPEED??" as if NO ONE else in the world has ever seen that episode, or any other episode of Saved by the Bell and the truly epic LULZ ensue. But when someone looks as tragic as Zach Morris does these days, I feel...

After a rousing boxing match, once I've fully dicked around long enough, there's nothing I enjoy more than strapping on a fishnet body suit, layer a black speedo over a pink one, and just bust out my best come and get it pose while maxin & relaxin by my hotel spa-tub. There are, however, a couple other things that boxing champ Oscar De La Hoya does just as good, if not better, than his "come and...

As I am young(ish) and therefore impressionable, I am usually quick to follow the lead of my favorite celebrities.When Ashton Kutcher started gallivanting round Hollywood looking like an asshole with his shaggy hair and trucker cap, I hopped on that train.LindseyMischaNicoleKeiraMaryKate decided that it was hip to be all hip bones and impossibly thin and I stopped eating for weeks. I lost a few teeth...

STR-ETCH!Holy crap. It's been a while, eh? Let me wiggle my buns back into the throne of gossip. Hmmm - feels a bit strange, perhaps my balls have grown since we last talked? Hey! Speaking of balls - if you saw the movie Brown Bunny, first - I'm sorry. And second, you may or may not have seen Vincent Gallo's real live wang! Apparently him and some dude are in a heated e-mail battle over the authenticity...

Afternoon loyal readers. Many of you have wondered what has happened to this blog. When you spend months researching the ins and outs of the lives of all of our beloved celebrities, you tend to start thinking like them. Thus, you have experienced what many of you do all the time with some of your favorite or least favorite celebrities: A HIATUS. Sometimes you need it to rejuvenate the soul, or maybe...

I have never liked Kanye West. EVER! I have to admit that Kanye is good at what he does. It cannot be easy to find a way to convince throngs of white kids who don't know better fans, that bastardizing sampling already good music and throwing a beat and some bullshit lyrics on it equals talent/innovation/that you are not just P.Diddy in disguise, but this I will not stand for.“We push each other,”...

Jesus FUCKING Christ! What the hell happened to D'Angelo?Remember when he looked like the kind of guy you would let put his penis anywhere near you?Usher, beware! This is what happens when you go too long without a hit reco...

OH HAI!!! What's been going on in the interwebs these days? I've been so busy! Are those I Can Has Cheezburger things still bringing the LOL's? I sure do hope so! Look what else I found!HA! It's funny because it goes "dun...dun...DUNNNN!" and then the...ha...the chip...he turns...around! HA! Truly epic LULZ! Send that one around to your friends with the headline "OMG I JUST FOUND THIS!" I think they'll...

Even though the crazy bitch is deaf (although i'm wondering if she just moved her hair away from her ears if that would help), Foxy Brown really likes all the features she gets from her Blackberry phone, especially the one labeled "WEAPON". The crazy Roc-a-Fella diva was recently reported to have struck someone repeatedly using her Blackberry phone. Now when you call Foxy Brown and get her voicemail...

Where did it all go wrong for Mel? I think a time line might help.October, 2006 - Melanie Brown and Eddie Murphy, (who is rumored to be a raging queen) are confirmed as dating and having a baby."We're in love and get on really well. All the children have met and get on too - it's like a great big happy family. I can't wait to spend Christmas with him and I can't wait to have this baby." -Mel B.December,...

Someone needs to tell little Queen Shiloh to lay off the sauce. I know living with three adopted/less important children is hard to cope with, but don't drink your pain away little one. You will rule us all someday! Meanwhile, Zahara takes this opportunity to claim her rightful place in the spotlight:That's right, girl! Ham it up while that white baby is drunk! You have claimed the right to be called...

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal is boning. There have been rumors of the two ducking and diving out of motels and having secret lunches and shit.She made me laugh in Freeway, he made me bone up in Brokeback Mountain . I truly hope that they are having some bomb ass sex. From the looks of their matching shit- eating grins, it looks like they are.*here's to you Withergyll...

Are we surprised to see Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston on the town after the divorce? Nope. As we all know, a family that breaks rocks together, stays together. Are we shocked to see them both looking red eyed and shiny? Hell to the NO! You know they was just hittin' the pipe a hot second ago. The only thing new, and in my opinion, funny about this is the fact that they dine at Joe's Crab Shack.I...

I have nothing to say, except that this hurts my heart.Doing this brings me no joy at all and I can see it hurts you too Laur...

Okay, I know that she was outed as a pothead from her myspace page or something like that, but someone needs to take the joints away from Rumer Willis. For one, she is making pot smokers look bad. People already think smoking pot will make you run over little girls on bikes or shoot your best friend with your dad's loaded shotgun. So pot dealers, cut her off. Either that or daddy needs to get Die...

Tay Zonday was on Jimmy Kimmel Live. He speaks! Do you think Tay would play at my birthday party next year? I can think of no better way to ring in the anniversary of my birth than by Chocolate Rain on repeat for countless hours. I would also like him to read me bedtime stories...into my vagina. I think I'm in love with this m...

When Terrence Howard isn't being fangled in the fun hole, he's going to great lengths preserving the cleanliness of it. When wiping your ass, according to TH, you can't just use paper on that (literal) shit. You best have some baby wipes in your bathroom if you want Terrence Howard to not have sex with you. He elaborates an interview with Elle:On his relationship philosophy:"If a relationship is built...

click for NSFW versionWelcome to the second installment of Wang Wednesday! My dog Betty Bacon isn't so sure how she feels about this vintage Antonio Banderas wang. She likes his curly hair, and his young, come hither look. But she does not like how he's just standing there with his wang out for all to see. She's trying to warn you not too look. The choice, however, is ultimately up to you. She is...

Are those catty, superficial lesbians getting to you, girl? Listen, Janeane Garofalo, don't go all anorexic on us just to keep the lipstick lesbian crowd. You'll always have the butch ones that will continue to think you're gay no matter what you tell them! And their standards are really, really low. So low, in fact, that you can walk into a truck stop wearing nothing but a potato sack and just point...

Perhaps starting this blog was not the best idea for me. I used to love all of this celebrity bullshit. "What?! What's that you say? Britney Spears skewered her sons, doused them in barbecue sauce, grilled them on her George Foreman lean mean grilling machine and served them to her house guests, who were comprised of slightly deformed lesbian midgets???? Fucking SWEET!" was generally my reaction to...

Some time ago, I asked celebrities to stop going to Disney World. I'd like to amend that statment to: Everyone but Will Ferrel, stop going to Disney World. There is something oddly charming about old man Ferrel sitting in a teacup with the dainty Mad Hatter that I'd just like to see more of. Keep up the good work, Will. I'm sorry I tried to restrict your greatne...

According to In Touch, the new life trying to eat its way out of Nicole Richie's body, is a BOY!* Joel was just about to finish the oft used fist pump, when Nicole stopped him with, "No, no. We aren't that excited. Put it down. "*Joel Madden is understandably happy, sources say. He'll have someone to play catch with or teach whatever crap instrument he plays in his crap band. Nicole however, is mildly...

Just one week after the alleged pregnancy scare, Usher and fiancé (as in a MAN engaged to be married. I bet that one went right over your head didn't it? I may be a darky but I gots my GED!) Tameka Foster finally wed on Friday.In a closed casket private ceremony, Tameka put the final nail in Usher's coffin. It's one thing to fuck an ugly chick, but to marry her and have a kid with her just ain't...

Flight of the Concords is still awesome. Just so you kn...

I know that it is all the rage to be a whore nowadays, Nicole Richie is getting a lot of press for being a pregnant (and unwed) whore, Lindsey's a drunken whore, Britney's a crazy whore...Paris. But you really got to ease up a little bit.Please give your coin purse some room to breathe or you're going to end up having to use Rihannas Yeast Infection Cream for the rest of your natural li...