sexiest woman maxim

I have never liked Kanye West. EVER! I have to admit that Kanye is good at what he does. It cannot be easy to find a way to convince throngs of white kids who don't know better fans, that bastardizing sampling already good music and throwing a beat and some bullshit lyrics on it equals talent/innovation/that you are not just P.Diddy in disguise, but this I will not stand for.“We push each other,”...

Jesus FUCKING Christ! What the hell happened to D'Angelo?Remember when he looked like the kind of guy you would let put his penis anywhere near you?Usher, beware! This is what happens when you go too long without a hit reco...

OH HAI!!! What's been going on in the interwebs these days? I've been so busy! Are those I Can Has Cheezburger things still bringing the LOL's? I sure do hope so! Look what else I found!HA! It's funny because it goes "dun...dun...DUNNNN!" and then the...ha...the chip...he turns...around! HA! Truly epic LULZ! Send that one around to your friends with the headline "OMG I JUST FOUND THIS!" I think they'll...

Even though the crazy bitch is deaf (although i'm wondering if she just moved her hair away from her ears if that would help), Foxy Brown really likes all the features she gets from her Blackberry phone, especially the one labeled "WEAPON". The crazy Roc-a-Fella diva was recently reported to have struck someone repeatedly using her Blackberry phone. Now when you call Foxy Brown and get her voicemail...

Where did it all go wrong for Mel? I think a time line might help.October, 2006 - Melanie Brown and Eddie Murphy, (who is rumored to be a raging queen) are confirmed as dating and having a baby."We're in love and get on really well. All the children have met and get on too - it's like a great big happy family. I can't wait to spend Christmas with him and I can't wait to have this baby." -Mel B.December,...

Someone needs to tell little Queen Shiloh to lay off the sauce. I know living with three adopted/less important children is hard to cope with, but don't drink your pain away little one. You will rule us all someday! Meanwhile, Zahara takes this opportunity to claim her rightful place in the spotlight:That's right, girl! Ham it up while that white baby is drunk! You have claimed the right to be called...

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal is boning. There have been rumors of the two ducking and diving out of motels and having secret lunches and shit.She made me laugh in Freeway, he made me bone up in Brokeback Mountain . I truly hope that they are having some bomb ass sex. From the looks of their matching shit- eating grins, it looks like they are.*here's to you Withergyll...

Are we surprised to see Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston on the town after the divorce? Nope. As we all know, a family that breaks rocks together, stays together. Are we shocked to see them both looking red eyed and shiny? Hell to the NO! You know they was just hittin' the pipe a hot second ago. The only thing new, and in my opinion, funny about this is the fact that they dine at Joe's Crab Shack.I...

I have nothing to say, except that this hurts my heart.Doing this brings me no joy at all and I can see it hurts you too Laur...

Okay, I know that she was outed as a pothead from her myspace page or something like that, but someone needs to take the joints away from Rumer Willis. For one, she is making pot smokers look bad. People already think smoking pot will make you run over little girls on bikes or shoot your best friend with your dad's loaded shotgun. So pot dealers, cut her off. Either that or daddy needs to get Die...

Tay Zonday was on Jimmy Kimmel Live. He speaks! Do you think Tay would play at my birthday party next year? I can think of no better way to ring in the anniversary of my birth than by Chocolate Rain on repeat for countless hours. I would also like him to read me bedtime stories...into my vagina. I think I'm in love with this m...

When Terrence Howard isn't being fangled in the fun hole, he's going to great lengths preserving the cleanliness of it. When wiping your ass, according to TH, you can't just use paper on that (literal) shit. You best have some baby wipes in your bathroom if you want Terrence Howard to not have sex with you. He elaborates an interview with Elle:On his relationship philosophy:"If a relationship is built...

click for NSFW versionWelcome to the second installment of Wang Wednesday! My dog Betty Bacon isn't so sure how she feels about this vintage Antonio Banderas wang. She likes his curly hair, and his young, come hither look. But she does not like how he's just standing there with his wang out for all to see. She's trying to warn you not too look. The choice, however, is ultimately up to you. She is...

Are those catty, superficial lesbians getting to you, girl? Listen, Janeane Garofalo, don't go all anorexic on us just to keep the lipstick lesbian crowd. You'll always have the butch ones that will continue to think you're gay no matter what you tell them! And their standards are really, really low. So low, in fact, that you can walk into a truck stop wearing nothing but a potato sack and just point...

Perhaps starting this blog was not the best idea for me. I used to love all of this celebrity bullshit. "What?! What's that you say? Britney Spears skewered her sons, doused them in barbecue sauce, grilled them on her George Foreman lean mean grilling machine and served them to her house guests, who were comprised of slightly deformed lesbian midgets???? Fucking SWEET!" was generally my reaction to...

Some time ago, I asked celebrities to stop going to Disney World. I'd like to amend that statment to: Everyone but Will Ferrel, stop going to Disney World. There is something oddly charming about old man Ferrel sitting in a teacup with the dainty Mad Hatter that I'd just like to see more of. Keep up the good work, Will. I'm sorry I tried to restrict your greatne...

According to In Touch, the new life trying to eat its way out of Nicole Richie's body, is a BOY!* Joel was just about to finish the oft used fist pump, when Nicole stopped him with, "No, no. We aren't that excited. Put it down. "*Joel Madden is understandably happy, sources say. He'll have someone to play catch with or teach whatever crap instrument he plays in his crap band. Nicole however, is mildly...

Just one week after the alleged pregnancy scare, Usher and fiancé (as in a MAN engaged to be married. I bet that one went right over your head didn't it? I may be a darky but I gots my GED!) Tameka Foster finally wed on Friday.In a closed casket private ceremony, Tameka put the final nail in Usher's coffin. It's one thing to fuck an ugly chick, but to marry her and have a kid with her just ain't...

Flight of the Concords is still awesome. Just so you kn...

I know that it is all the rage to be a whore nowadays, Nicole Richie is getting a lot of press for being a pregnant (and unwed) whore, Lindsey's a drunken whore, Britney's a crazy whore...Paris. But you really got to ease up a little bit.Please give your coin purse some room to breathe or you're going to end up having to use Rihannas Yeast Infection Cream for the rest of your natural li...

I'm sure our fair Jigga had no idea how poignant the title of his recent post about R. Kelly and the release of the new chapters of Trapped in the Closet would be. How could he have known that in the preview for the new chapter, R. Kelly would utter the words "Oh Shit" or "Aw Shit" a countless number of times. I'm beyond excited for the release of new chapters now. This preview promises: more of Rosie...

Gap decided to get all le art on our asses by hiring famed photographer Annie Leibovitz to shoot their latest campaign. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this series, as it has given me insight into some of the darkest corners of the celebrity psyche that I was comfortable not knowing about. Things such as:What Ken Wantanabe looks like when he wants me to come and get it: What Forest Whitaker looks...

Apparently Tyra Banks has turned in her modeling shoes to become a kite. Tyra is so versatile! Good luck with that - watch out for the tre...

Years from now, us bloggers on TGG will look back on today and wonder, why didn't we post more? Well, when that time comes, we will apologize for our lack of posts. We might spend all day saying to ourselves, shoulda-coulda-woulda, but until then, lets focus on someone who probably says this everyday of her life...this represents 'SHOULDA', as in, Britney shoulda stuck to being a semi-whore who only...

Aren't eating disorders solely for young girls trying to cope with their ever changing bodies and daddy issues? Aren't these bitches too old to be doing this shit?I bet they'd eat more if they knew that having no meat on your bones makes you look old...

Choices is hard. Now, I ain't nobody's daddy, but I bet that having to deal with kids is not easy. Should you feed them carrots or Cheetos? Milk or Jack and diet soda? Do you have to change their diapers every time they make a stinky? Babies like tacos right? Bleaching a 22 month olds teeth ain't dangerous is it? I know I sure as shit wouldn't know what to do, and I bet you wouldn't either.I do know...

Yeah! That's right! Who wants to see some 56 year old wang??? You know that you do. Go ahead, click on the image! Feast your eyes on Stuntman Mike's shifter! On Dr. Curtis McCabe's tongue depressor! On Snake Plissken's snake!!! It's Wang Wednesday!!! (Shall we make Wang Wednesday the official new regular feature on the blog? Let us know in the comment...

Get ready bitches! Trapped In The Closet: Chapters 13-22 will be out on DVD 8/21. Here's a quick recap for all of you who don't kn...

Contrary to what I believe, Nicole Richie has told Diane Sawyer that she really is pregnant. Notice how I say "I believe" - present tense. I still believe that she is not pregnant. How can a malnourished, 80lb, sack of skin conceive a baby? No, she's just using this as her "get out of jail free card" - and if she can avoid jail time, then I'm sure she'll "miscarry". She said she's 4 months pregnant!...