sexiest woman maxim

Apparently winning American Idol does more for people than one would expect. And according to the grandmother of the newly crowned winner, Jordin Sparks, it has helped her realize she is beautiful, curvy and all. Aww, how cute. Of course your grandmother is going to make you feel good about yourself! That's what grandmas are for. Well, that and the occasional handout. Well good for you Sparks! You're...

Tammy Faye, weak and ravaged by cancer, is currently 62 pounds and “in pain 100 percent of the time,” she tells Entertainment Tonight in an interview airing tonight and tomorrow. “At this point, (I’m) not afraid of dying, it’s how will I die.”Nicole Richie, coked up and ravaged by delusional vanity, is currently 5 pounds and "disgusting to look at 100 percent of the time". When asked for a comment,...

God, I love fake mustaches. They are a much better accessory then the obvious oversized purses & sunglasses and shower caps that all the celebrities are always carrying around. Good to see that Snoop Dogg is bringing them back for Summer 2K7. Ladies, feel free to wear them on your vaginas. I promise you that your vagina will experience a renewed sense of sophistication once you stick one on there....

These guys are apparently twins, also apparently in a band called The Forms, and have undoubtedly provided me with the best thing I've seen all day. This is like a pop-culture version of the intertwined arms wedding toast. 90210, I humbly ask you again...Will You Marry Me? Don't choose "me" this ti...

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Nelly! Nelly Furtado!!! Over here! I'm OVER HERE!!! Perhaps you can't see me because you NEVER OPEN YOUR G.D. EYES. Stop smiling wit them and let's try seeing wit them. Alright, I'm going to start saying things that only a Canadian would truly understand, in hopes that you can follow my voice. I'll know when you've found me by that oh-so familiar, mildly retarded look you get on your face when you've...

Nanny #2, pick das bagel up and give it to one of the kinders.Heidi Klum has either given birth to three spawns of Satan, or she simply can't stand her children. How else can you explain the fact that she has enlisted her mother & three nannies to help take care of her 3 kids. Heidi can't help the fact that she's taken a rather dominant & displinarian approach to parenting, I mean...she is...

Under normal circumstances, I would say "Look everyone! Beyonce has a clang!" Then you would laugh & laugh and tell all of your friends what a wonderful blog this is. But I think you and I both know that we are dealing with something far more serious here. Within Beyonce's underwear lies the full shaft of an erect penis. Unless Beyonce has the largest clang known to man, it's probably safe to...

Aw! Look who it is! It's my favorite French-Canadian, Celine Dion and her daughter Rene-Charles! How cute! That little girl looks just like her mommy! And look at that long, curly hair! How magnificent! How touching! It makes me want to have a baby!Wait...what's that say up in the right hand corner?SON????? What the fuck?!?! Sweet French-Canadian Jesus, why do people feel the need to do this to their...

This picture of Bobby Brown and his new girlfriend Alicia Etheridge almost made my she-bone explode. Everyone, this is the hotttest couple of 2K7. Gaze upon them in all of their glory as they are too wasted to figure out how to kiss each other properly or how to walk with their traps shut. My sweet dear lord, they are a beautiful couple. My new goal in life is to be the frosting in the middle...

Welcome to the first installment of a new semi-regular feature on TGG called "Today on R. Kelly TV". R. Kelly created a channel on youtube to promote his new album "Double Up" which came out yesterday (you can listen to a few of the tracks here). So far, I have learned that R. Kelly can go from talking about Notorious B.I.G. to singing "I believe I can fly" in less than a second. Another thing I've...

All that letter writing that Britney Spears did yesterday must have brought back memories of the good old days. Britney was seen being carried out of the MENS bathroom after a recent stint of partying. She was covered in her own vomit. It's good to know that Britney is a changed woman since rehab. Before rehab, she may have choked on her own vomit, but this new, reformed Britney can rally with the...

Here we have Nicole Richie looking like a picture of good health. But unfortunately, something is wrong with this picture. Can you guess what it is? Let this video of Miss USA falling down serve as the blog's jeopardy music henceforth:Times up! If you guessed: her protruding sternum, her stringy hair, her lack of a bra, her emaciated tummy that resembles that of a starving 3rd world child, her deathly...

Well, I guess I was wrong about Britney Spears getting a break from tabloid ridicule in the wake of all the Lindsay Lohan drama flying about. Britney could have just laid low, maybe done something not as trashy as usual, and use this time that she's not in the spotlight to turn her life around a bit. But instead, Britney walks the streets in a stained white dress and posts a letter on her website...

Salma Hayek is going to explode. No one is really sure when this baby is due, but I pray to god that for Salma's sake it is soon. If she is forced to stretch her stomach or grow her boobs any larger, then I truly fear for her life. Her shirt apparently says "Stylish, Sexy, Pregnant". Okay, fair enough. But I don't really see stylish or sexy going on here, I only see a woman who desperately should...

Lindsay Lohan needs better friends. It was not a pleasant memorial day weekend for the 20 year old, who was *deep breath*: arrested for DUI & possession of cocaine, her sweet sponsor for her 21st birthday party pulled out of the deal leaving her no choice but to celebrate her 21st birthday back in rehab. So Lohan had to get at least one last buzz on before she was sent back to the caged, sober...

Hooray for holidays! Even ones that are technically supposed to be about sad things, but are celebrated with much drinking and merriment because we don't have to work on Monday!!! I leave you now with two things. The first is a favorite jam of mine. CeCe Peniston's poignant lyrics express the joy I am currently feeling while celebrating one of the first paid holidays of the year. The second is a picture...

Here we have Beyonce on vacation. She looks alright, but...something just isn't right about this photo. I'm a little scared and I don't know why. What oh what do Beyonce's jet black eyes remind me of?AAAAAHHHHH! Brother Justin from the brilliant but cancelled HBO series Carnivale aka evil in its purest form! NOOOOO!!! It's no wonder she has so many chart topping jams! It's the work of the devil, I...

Dang, it's gotta be rough to come in second place on Maxim's top 100 hotttest bitches list. The only thing worse would be coming in second to a coke-whore like Lindsay Lohan! Zing, Jessica Alba! We're bringing you down!!! Let's put the final nail in the coffin by deciding whether or not this rising "star" is an Asshat or Not-An-Asshat! It's Blank or Not-A-Blank!I'm not gonna lie...I know very little...

Eve - TambourineUploaded by yardie4lifeHere is the latest MAC commercial video from Eve for "Tambourine". I like the video. I like the song. Probably because I've dreamed of being the tambourine girl in a band all my life (I aim high). I'm hoping that this song helps make tambourine's THE "it" accessory for Summer 2K7. If it can't be tambourines, I hope it's finger cymbals. Those things ru...

Ahoy! Ahoy, I say! Sailor Britney, what do you see in your gossip goggles?What's that? You spy some more drama from The View? After that totally spontaneous, not staged at all fight between Rosie O'Donnell and Elizabeth Hasselbeck on Tuesday, a writer for Rosie totally won the fight by drawing mustaches on the photographs of Hasselbeck that hang in The View studios. Hasselbeck plans to retaliate by...

According to weather.com it's 73 degrees in Los Angeles. BRRRR!!! What is it, winter there? Good thing Marilyn Manson has dressed himself from head to toe in black leather and is tugging at his jacket for warmth. Perhaps hell really has frozen over and he's just the first to know. Try to stay warm, s...

There was some weird shit going down on the red carpet for Ocean's Thirteen at the Cannes Film Festival. First, there was George Clooney. Out of all the men in this film, he is the best at doing the whole "I'm-tricking-everyone-into-thinking-I-had-a-blast-making-this-movie! Really,-I'm-just-overwhelmed-with-joy-when-I-think-about-how-much-money-I-have" thing that they've all been doing since the first...

Last night at the annual Cinema Against AIDS dinner (which I was unfortunately unable to attend, as I was at the annual Bloggers for AIDS dinner which took place across the street at KFC), George Clooney and his some of the Ocean's Thirteen crew were auctioning off a seven-day Mediterranean getaway when Sharon Stone announced: "If you bid, one of these guys will come down and touch you. And you can...

I'm very proud that Alexyss Tylor exists, and continues to make her brilliant show. Don't let these puller-outers & dick and nut deliverers get you down. We love y...

Remember when Foxy Brown was arrested for spitting on someone? Apparently that hateful sales associate saved the spat, because Foxy now has to take a DNA test to determine if the spit actually came from her. This seems a bit ridiculous. I mean, a dude can make le art out of spit and get put on the teevee, but a black woman gets arrested for simply defending her weave? The only good thing coming from...

So, you wanna hear Amy Winehouse do ya? Well, I've got something even better! Amy Winehouse being sung by Rosie O'Donnell while she's having make-up applied. I guarantee that this will kill a little piece of you this morning. You're welco...

This week I learned that Amy Winehouse is considered by many to be the "white Lauryn Hill." Sure, I've never heard any of her songs, but still, something tells me this comparison is weak... and I haven't heard anyone on the radio that sounds remotely close to Lauryn Hill.This is another reason I don't agree.We all know it has been rumored in the past that Lauryn Hill hates whites. Maybe this explains...

...And believe us, that whore is gonna DRINK!. Lindsay Lohan will turn 21 on July 2, and she's not going to let the fact that she was just released from rehab for substance abuse, or the fact that she is still currently in AA, stop her from getting aaaah-WASTED! Lindsay will be able to drink for the first time ever thanks to Svedka Vodka, who is now sponsoring the bash. But, to be fair, if you go...

Sarah Jessica Parker has been forced to talk to her son about The Gays. Little James Wilke Broderick is only four years old, but he's already inquiring as to why some men like to place their penis's into the assholes of other men:"He's very interested in what being gay is... because so many of our friends are gay. "You (have to) think very carefully and you're prudent about the choice of words and...

Yesterday, Angelina Jolie sent my world into a rapid tailspin when she told reporters that she would be taking a year off sometime in the near future to further help heal the world. What am I going to do with myself during her hiatus? How will I live without Angelina? I had to take a moment to collect myself. I did this by sneaking off into my closet where I keep my Angelina shrine and consult it...