Guess I'll just settle for the Spice Girls

Posted by Unknown Selasa, 31 Juli 2007 0 komentar
In an interview in Scratch magazine Wyclef Jean puts Lauryn Hill on blast."Lauryn is straight up the problem, bro. She wants to be a producer. Don’t come telling us how to chop up beats so you can get credit for it."This in addition to the comments Pras recently made, I think its safe to say any dreams of a Fugees reunion have been laid to rest. I am torn. Anyone who knows me knows how much I loves...

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Funny & Not Funny all at the same time

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
Here's a picture of Courtney Love that is funny:Ha! What the hell happened to her! She looks like Janice from the muppets!:Here's a picutre of Courtney Love that is not really that funny:Jesus Christ...What the hell happened to her? Put those glasses back on, honey. I prefer comedy to depression. In fact, you should do a jig or something in order to help me forget that sad image. No? You don't...

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DUH!

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
In an essay in Glamour Star Jones cops to having gastric bypass surgery.In other breaking news, grass is green and fire be h...

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Amy's Jacked Up...

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
Literally. By Jack Daniels. Only this horseface can get away with open intoxication while driving. Some people get to a point where they are drunk so much, its no longer being drunk, its just being normal. Amy Winehouse is one of these people. Either that or she is the least photogenic person I have ever seen. I'm going to go with a little of both. There is a name for people like Amy - drunken whore....

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Think about the kids, Britney

Posted by Unknown Senin, 30 Juli 2007 0 komentar
(lots more kids getting scared/mildly injured at Buzzfeed)Oh lawd, what a day! Since there is really nothing that great going on in the gossip world, I leave you this video of a kid almost having a heart attack. Is it a coincidence that this happened while he was lip synching to Britney Spears? I think not. Britney, we know you ain't thinking about how your actions are going to leave lasting, irreversible,...

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Bono is Fat

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
Its not the first time I have criticized the lead singer from U2, and it certainly wont be the last. Its obvious that I can't stand him. But for good reasons usually.When did Bono get so fat?? First off, I almost didn't recognize him and for a moment, mistook him for Robin Williams. So if that is really Robin Williams, I apologize. I don't care if you are fat or if you eat the Africans food because...

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She can feel it coming in the air tonight

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
Hold me tight, puppy, while I squeeze out a deuce.And in today's obligatory "What crazy shit is Britney Spears doing now" news - she's having a breakdown while she films a sexy repulsive pole dance for her latest video:This shit is getting really exhausting for me. Basically she looked a mess, and normally I would say that I was excited for this trash video to come out - but this has finally passed...

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Trend Alert: Blackface!

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
I'd like to present this is reason #3,235,986 that I don't watch the recently cancelled (Thank God!) piece of shit that is The Simple Life:"Why, Girl #1, what's wrong with that?" you might find yourself asking, "She just looks overly tanned, per usual!". That, my friends, is Paris Hilton's attempt at blackface. Yes, she was "transformed" into a "black" for her show. Nicole Richie did it too! Even...

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Usher calls off shotgun wedding

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
Usher and Tameka Foster's wedding ended in the same manner that their relationship began, in a shroud of secrets and lies, and with an air of suspicion.Hours before the afternoon ceremony was to take place in Southampton, N.Y., Usher's publicist Patti Webster issued the following statement: "It was announced today that the wedding ceremony for Usher Raymond IV and Tameka Foster was canceled. No additional...

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U-G-L-Y ...

Posted by Unknown Jumat, 27 Juli 2007 0 komentar
There are few things I hate more than ugly babies, (Violet Affleck, I'm talkin to you) but thankfully in Hollywood, the powers that be feel differently. Ugly babies turn into "quirky" looking kids, (Johnathan Lipnicki) who then turn into pretty unfortunate looking adults.(Steve Buscemi) The lifespan of acceptance is short so you gotta strike while the iron is hot. So today I delight in reporting...

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El Can-fucking sick-tante

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
Dude, J. Lo...what the hell is going on here? I know you turned down the hot recently so Marc Anthony could have a piece, but I think you turned it down too low. I was thinking more "rolling boil" hot, but you've turned it all the way down to simmer. However, we are here to help you get some of the hot back. So, let's try opening your mouth wider, like you smell something stinky and it has wafted...

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WTF Files: Lauryn Hill

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
I really think this bitch just is fucking with me now.I have already told you that I still love your music Lauryn, but if you keep steppin out of your house lookin this hot of a mess, I am going to have to drop you all together. I mean ...

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This ho ain't pregnant

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
From the people who brought you This ho is pregnant (US - and not US weekly, I mean TGG) we'd like to dispel a pregnancy rumor (and also apologize for talking about Nicole Richie so much today). An exclusive source has revealed to us that this ho AIN'T pregnant!! Believe it when you hear it on that Diane Sawyer interview, but remember you heard it here first. Unless, of course, she is pregnant. Than...

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Nicole Richie is ready to talk

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
Remember the last time Diane Sawyer had an interview with a troubled celebrity in an effort to clear the air- dispell some of the rumors? Remember what happened? Well let me refresh your memory.Whitney "crack is whack" Houston. * all the good shit at 6 min.*As it has already been proven true here at TGG, that God don't give a shit about gays. But if He ain't too busy running from Paula. I hope that...

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Travolta becomes comfortable with baldness

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
I, on the other hand, am rendered increasingly uncomfortable.One thing we haven't touched on much here is John Travolta and his inability to hide his baldness. We usually don't like to talk about John because he is a filthy Scientologist, but his insecurity about losing his hair is something that many men secretly fear. As you should, men. If you go bald - no one will like you. Women will be nice...

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Finally!

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
Naomi Watts finally let that baby slide right on outta there. I'm still a bit concerned. Not so much for her anymore, but for her vagina. That could not have felt pleasant. The beast that swelled her belly to ginormous proportions shall now and forever be known as Alexander Pete Schreiber, and he apparently only weighed 8 lbs. 4 oz. This leads me to believe that there is another baby hiding all up...

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Lindsay Lohan runs over, blames a black man

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
Three dudes who were involved with the latest Lohan DUI scandal are telling their story to TMZ. If you are a glutton for punishment, go over there and watch their "testimony". I'm feeling generous this Friday morning, so I'll recount the alleged story for you:Lindsay Lohan is a dirty racist. Three dudes (two brothers, one honkey) were trying to get into her party in Malibu the night of her arrest....

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They are still making Bourne movies?

Posted by Unknown Kamis, 26 Juli 2007 0 komentar
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! What the hell? They are still making Bourne movies and Julia Stiles is in them? Shiny, round face & all? Yikes! I just puked up a bit of my Hot & Sour soup in my mouth. Good thing I've never seen any of those shitty movies. It's also a good thing that Matt Damon loves his Mexi Argentinian wife:Girl, I know you're a mexi or something, but get out of...

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Can't Tell Me Nothin: Now with white people! And chainsaws!

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
If you didn't like Chocolate Rain...well, I'm not sure I want to know you. But, I'll give you a chance to get back in my good graces. Here's a new video for Kanye West's "Can't Tell Me Nothin. The video features video ho-fessional & lip-syncher extraordinaire Zach Galifianakis & sad-bastard artist Will Oldham. Maybe all y'all racists will be a bit more kind to a black man singing if his jam...

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Jessica Alba & Cash Warren Split: World Shrugs

Posted by Unknown Rabu, 25 Juli 2007 0 komentar
UsWeekly reports that after over two years of bliss, Jessica drops Cash faster than you can say "Dark Angel." Sources say that Jessica broke up with Cash via telephone, calling to tell him "I'm not in love with you anymore." Then, (this is my favorite part) she sent her assistants to her home in L.A. to pack up all his shit and move him out.Yeah...he bores me too Jess.What could be the cause of such...

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Kate Moss, Superstar.

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
Kate Moss has been an emotional wreck lately (shocking, huh?) over the loss of two sex tapes recorded with ex-flame Pete Doherty. The thought of whatever disgusting acts those two could have possibly done sends a shiver down my spine. Can you imagine the sight of Pete doing a line of blow from the crack of Kates ass? What are the chances that his dick would be any cleaner than the rest of him? He...

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Is this what you dudes do?

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
A question to dudes with erectile dysfunction: Do y'all like to sit around and sing about it? That's what this commercial for Viagra would like us to believe. I have no idea how old/new this is...but this is hilarious. I particularly enjoyed the first line, "Got me a honey..." better when I misheard it the first time and I thought he said "God, me horny...". Enj...

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It's your turn, Michelle Williams

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
First, Kelly Rowland fell down:Now Beyonce...has fallen:Michelle Williams, as the third and final member of Destiny's Child yet to take a tumble, the world is waiting on you. Don't let these bitches upstage you with their falling! You can fall down better! You can fall down harder! Break something! Reclaim your space in the spotlight!Edit: Aw shit, apparently Michelle Williams has already fallen.HA!...

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I never really knew that Tom could sweat like this

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
I think Tom Cruise should get his sweat glands looked at. He really shouldn't be sweating that much, or in that pattern. If you're really that hot, why not just commit to removing your jacket entire...

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Rihanna umbrellas for sale!

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
I think that this is fucking ridiculous, but I do respect Rihanna's hustle. Cash in on your soon to be nonexistent fame while you can girl. People will soon realize that although she has a hot body she kinda looks like an alien. Once the public catches on, her career is dead. Young and hot, marginally talented singers we can tolerate, but old ugly bitches who can't sing just ain't gonna work. Soon...

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Lohan: It wasn't me?

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
We'd like to start off the day by thanking none other than Lindsay Dee Lohan for reading the blog. It's clear that she heeded the advice that we gave to Paris Hilton in the wake of her legal troubles. Remember, we told Paris to use the timeless "it wasn't me" defense. But Paris did not listen, and look where that got her. In an email to "Access Hollywood" host Billy Bush, Lindsay did exactly what...

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