Blame Suri

Sorry for the late start today. I had to be driven to the emergency room because I started hyperventilating upon seeing these pictures of Suri Cruise:



Are you joking, Suri? I want to put this baby in a slingshot and shoot her across the room. How could you even co-exist with a baby that cute? The only thing that brought me back was this picture, because it looks like Katie Holmes is abusing her daughter, which reminded me that I hate her Scientologist ass:



For real though, Suri is flippin adorable. She and my favorite celebrity spawn, Henry Seal Klum should mate. Is it too early for that? Suri looks strong, I bet she's ready to be with child.

Meanwhile, Jayden James begs wit his eyez to be rescued from his terrible excuse for a mother:



But Britney Spears did not notice her sons pleas, nor did she hear his screaming & crying. She was too busy ignoring him so she could tell a photographer that he was a fat fuck. Good to see that Britney's priorities are still in order. Katie Holmes may be a crazy Scientologist, but at least that baby knows how to pretend like nothing is wrong (Kinda). *sigh* Jayden James, you poor fat baby.

More Suri cuteness here