Killing myself may be my only option today

Wow. This did not help calm my rage today. So, I browse on over to Pop Candy to see what is going on, and there I find a video promising a walk down memory lane with some of my favorite characters from the good old Nickelodeon days of yore. Some band that I've never heard of called The XYZ Affair made a video that features Marc Summers who I already see semi-regularly on that show about candy, Michael Maronna (Big Pete, The Adventures of Pete & Pete), Danny Cooksey (Bobby Budnick, Salute Your Shorts), and Jason Zimbler (Ferguson Darling, Clarissa Explains It All). "Oh Boy!" I thought to myself, "This should be GREAT!". But perhaps the alcohol that is still flooding my brain got the best of me, because...this is not great. Quite the opposite, actually. Unless your definition of "great" is some whiney emo bullshit sung by some twatwaffle that sounds like a girl and couldn't even manage to find a clean shirt to wear in the video, or the fact that I couldn't even recognize any of the characters that I loved so much as a wee-Girl #1, not even Bobby Budnick who I secretly wanted to bone, red haired mullet & all:



I just may end up setting myself on fire today in an attempt to numb the onslaught of pain & suffering I've been subjected to thusfar. If I do, this dumbass song would be the tune I would turn to ash to. Naw, fuck that. I'm going out in style: