Ashton almost Died Hard.

Ashton Kutcher almost got his karma for what hes done to all those poor saps he's Punk'd over the years. Bruce Willis reportedly admitted to Playboy that he wasn't always too thrilled about his ex-wife boning a 20 something year old who, were it not for his kosher beard, could easily be confused for a 12 year old with some of his antics. Lucky for Ashton, Bruce Willis happens to know Will Smith.

You no longer have to constantly look over your shoulder in fear Ashton, as you appear to be doing here:



Sometime after Will spoke to Bruce regarding his wanting to rip Ashton limb from limb, Bruce apparently had a change of heart and decided to let the yoga lovin' prankster Live Free. Thousands of preteen girls are crying tears of joy at the sound of this news. Bruce not only thanked Will for his helpful words, but also thanked him for making such great movies. Hitch comes to mind for me in recent years. Bruce also really liked the fact that when you put both of their last names together, it makes 'Willis Smith', and to him that's pretty cool.

But while Smith is quite the outstanding citizen and role model for us all, let us not forget who helped him become the whitest black guy in Hollywood.



Uncle Phil, thank goodness they didn't replace you with an entirely different actor like they did to Aunt Viv. We'd all be lost without you. Were it not for you constantly setting an example of befriending all the whites, who knows what damage could have been done to Ashton Kutcher? Thank you, Uncle Phil, thank you.

I'll smell ya later!


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