There's a boner joke at the end of this

Imagine I'm saying all of this in the most boring and unintelligible voice possible, as that is how I feel about this entire situation. Here, to give you a frame of reference, please watch the trailer for The Ten. I am telling you this story in the same dialect that is used to list the actors names at the end:


(If you liked that trailer, go here to watch the unrated version)

Paris Hilton may be going back to jail. I also may take flight at any moment. My puppy might learn english and serenade me each night to the tune of "Let's Stay Together". I would like that last scenario the best. TMZ reports that the judge presiding over Hilton-gate 2K7 is straight up pissed and has ordered Paris to return to court at 9am (PDT) today to determine whether or not she'll be heading back to jail. Since she was released due to nearly suffering from a fake nervous breakdown, I hope to see her stroll into the courtroom wearing pants on her head and whistling dixie. Play up the crazy! That way, when you don't get sent back to jail, we can channel our anger about the justice system into judgement upon you. Try throwing us a bone instead of sucking on one, Paris. Boner jokes!