I birthed an internet rumor!

Did you run around and tell all of your friends that Christina Aguilera was pregnant, just like we told you? Did you wow your business colleagues with comments like, "Did you hear Christina Aguilera is expecting? I wonder if she'll visit the Sunset Tanning Salon to see if they offer pre-natal tanning sessions!"? No? Well, you better get on that shit, because she's been running her pregnant ass to the baby doctor. Which means she's bound to officially break the news soon, and your jokes are going to go from witty & surmising to being just about as funny as hearing Borat jokes for the umteenth time pretty darn quick. So hurry up and make fun of the preggo. No? Not your thing? Well then forget everything I just said and listen to the song below. If Christina likes to get down the way that I do, I'm willing to bet that she conceived to this:



In an attempt to find the video for the radio edit of this song, I stumbled across this, which I feel compelled to show you only because it has traumatized me in ways that I never thought possible, and I feel like it's only fair that you share my pain. I'm warning you, if you don't want to be sick and/or completely confused as to why someone would do something like this, don't click the link. NSFW - or anyone, really.