Britney Spears/Luke Walton Sex Tape!!!

Ha ha ha! No, not actually.

Hi. I'm Zenitram. You might remember me from such blogs as the Silver Bullet, and other trivial publications. I've been asked to come over from the Bullet and comment on the recent Luke Walton/Britney Spears rumors. I'd like to start off by thanking Two Girls and a Gay, and also say I love what you've done with the place! (The drapes are to die for!)

But could you imagine the tape? Especially if it was narrated by Luke's dad, Bill?


Age of romanticism, indeed.
(vagina)
Could Britney find a new crop of possible beaus within the very ranks of sports greatest gentlemen? Wouldn't that be great if Britney started to make her way through the NBA?
Apparently she showed up wearing the number 24 to "throw everybody off", but apparently there's no way America's former sweetheart would be dating a black man. (Yes, I know he's married, but this is Kobe. Kobe.) So the rumor is that it's our man Walton. Smooth, suave, bon vivant, etc.
(vagina)
I could see it. Britney's looking for someone not to judge her, or the current status of her lady-business. I think Opie would fit that bill. Having your dad standing over your shoulder and crushing your spirit ("You'll never be as dominant as me with the Lakers! I killed my opponents and drank blood from their hearts!"-actual quote, Bill Walton) would make you pretty timid in dating. I'm sure Britney would love to push around somebody that wasn't so lippy.
(vagina)
Do you think if this blossoms into something more, Phil Jackson will force Britney into learning the triangle offense?

Did I just give a shout out to this blog? Yes. Yes, I did.

This post has been brought to you by the Silver Bullet. (If I didn't reference it twice, Tiny would have sat on me. And yes, his name is ironic.)