I think Kelly Ripa is a man

It's as if her face is saying "There is no way that anyone is buying that I am a woman anymore." And she's right. Look at her chest:



That is the chest of a 13 year old boy if I ever saw one. And I have. Just yesterday, in fact. I won't go into too many details, but lemme just say that if you haven't invited all the neighborhood boys over to give them chest massages while you bake casseroles and tell their parents that you are helping them with their homework, you have not lived. But anyhoo - I really think Kelly Ripa is actually a prepubescent boy. Or maybe she resembles the only other thing I find more attractive than a prepubescent boy, __________________. Fill in the blank, bitches. What do you think Kelly Ripa looks like, or What do you think would be the only thing I would find more attractive than a prepubescent boy? If you don't know me by now, you will never ever ever know me...