Stars: They're Fucking So Much Like Us

Hey, Jessica Biel! Or at least I think that's you. That's what Jezebel told me anyway. Might I make a suggestion? The next time you're picking up the dresses that you've just had Justin Timberlake's jizz removed from, and you decide to literally wear the dry cleaning bag home...perhaps you should tie the bottom closed, then promptly jump into the nearest river. Just a thought...